Thanks pd yg bg support thru comments. I really appreciate that. I just don’t know what to do now. Sbb smua nye tbe2 n hati aku still penuh dgn die. If ktorng break sbb die ade org lain ke, senang sket aku nk benci trus n get over it. Tp die pun syg aku just die nk berubah n xkan aku nk halang kan.

Aku just xphm. Nape she just decides to do sumthing without giving me any options. Or aku je yg xle trima hakikat . Aku xtau sesuai ke x aku bgtau nape die mntak break. Hmm.. die dpt mimpi dr Allah.. Aku pun klau bole xnk jd senget ni. Tp nak wat cemane bile aku lg bg perhatian kat pompuan dr lelaki. Aku xpenah rase menyesal jd dr aku sndri sampai la arini. Aku nk jd org baik. Xnk wat dosa byk walaupun mmg la aku sembahyang pun xla tepat pd waktu sgt. Tp aku just jatuh cnta tp bile cnta aku tu bole wat some1 yg syg aku berdosa, family ktorng pun berdosa, wat aku pk aku mmg kena hidup sorang2 seumur hidup ke. Sbb aku mmg xle byg aku kawen dgn lelaki.

Aku syg die sgt smpai aku pk if die nak aku tahan nafsu aku n just cnta n syg die so that die bole stay, then I will. Lg pun ape la beza sgt tahan ke x nafsu aku tu. Aku jauh dari die utk setahun setengah lg then if aku blk Malaysia jap, aku akn apply g wat phd plak, if pnjg umur aku. N akan jauh lg dr die. But still, she doesn’t give me any options. Or maybe sbb die kenal dr aku sgt.

Tp stil aku xsalahkan die. Walaupun ayat aku mcm salahkan die. Act aku risaukan die. aku tau die pun rase susah sbb tgh cuba nk ubah cnta tu jd syg je. Syg sbgai kwn. N aku xmampu col die n act sbgai kwn shja. Mcm mane kalu die tensen dgn keje, or laptop die problem or bile die boring, dgn sape die nk ngadu. Die dah terbese dgn aku n aku pun dah terbese dgn die. Tp aku xle trime die pggil name aku instead of ‘b’. n aku xreti nk pggil name die sbb aku nk pggil die ‘ayg’.

Tp die stret, so die xkan paham ape yg aku rase. Hmm.. aku nk blk umah. Aku nk blk jumpe family aku. Aku xnk duk cni. Damn!

We all dah broke up

So aku n ayg dah xde ape2. n aku xsalahkan die. die just nak jd stret semula. sbb die mmg stret dulu. n sbb time aku tau ni dah tgh mlm kat malaysia, so aku tulis ni sbb aku xde member nak luah. semua ni jadi tbe2 bg aku. so tolong doakn aku waras n bole go on. sbb tiang seri aku dah patah. n aku xprepared. aku terlalu cintakan die n now aku sgt2 pathetic. n again die mmg xsalh. kuasa Allah sape bole lawan.

and blog ni dah jd aku punye sorang. n skrang aku rase nak demam. harap2 aku kuat. thanks kat smua member yg kenal aku n ayg , just ktorang xde jodoh. so xdpt la jumpe korang lg nnt sbgai kapel. die bukan dr dunia aku just aku yg bwk die masuk. n pada member2 aku, if 1 hari nnt aku bgtau yg aku suka kat mane2 gurl stret lg, tolong tepuk sket pale aku ok.

thanks sbb bace luahan aku. aku mmg lost skrang ni.

Lamenye nak blk umah lg..huhu. aku dah rindu ayg n family aku sgt ni. Rindu giler kat ayg. Smlam aku xtdo semalaman sembang dgn ayg thru ym n then phone. LDR mmg sgt tuff. Nak tahan perasaan rindu, longing for someone, nak tahan sexual desire lg. payah giler. Nak cari semangat tiap kali nk harungi hari2 sebelum dpt jumpe lg dgn die. Bile rase rindu tu dtg n rasa xle nk control diri. Xpuas dgn ckp phone je or just thru webcam. Dgr hela nafas die dlm phone dah ckup wat aku jd xkeruan.

Rasa lemah sgt bile dgr die ade prob, or bile die sunyi, or bile die xsht n aku just bole pjuk thru phone n kiss dr jauh. Kena tahan rasa skt dlm dada bile dgr die nangis dlm phone sbb rindu. Sape2 yg nak LDR pk byk kali la. Tp aku sebolehnye xkan give up, if I have to wait to be with some1, then that would be her.

Mmg kerap gaduh n dingin bile jauh ni, tp hati ni dah penuh dgn die. Bile xdgr sore die lebey dr dua hari, mmg xbole nk go on. If pnjang umur, lame lg nak tggu b4 aku blk, setahun setengah lg. nway aku baru beli world map n US map kelmarin, sj tampal kat bilik. Bile tgok map tu, kdg2 wat aku sedey. Jauh btul aku dari umah n dr ayg. Rentas laut n benua. So bile2 aku start gaduh dgn ayg lg, aku patut ingat yg ayg aku tu snggup tggu aku yg jauh ni, n aku patut hargai die sebaik2nye. Mane lg aku nk dpt some1 mcm ayg yg aku selesa bile dekat or jauh dgn die. Some1 yg syg aku mcm aku syg die. Some1 yg trime aku seadanya.

Aku rase senang nk jumpe org yg kt syg tp die xsyg kt or someone yg syg kt tp kt xsyg die. Huhu. Kdg2 aku mcm terkilan gak sbb kena let go time yg aku bole spend dgn ayg time ktorang umur 24 n insyaAllah 25. Tp aku ade cita2, nak xnak mmg kena pilih salah 1. Tp aku mmg tamak. Klau bole nk dua2. Huhu. If diizinkan Allah, aku nak kerjaya yg best, gaji besar, ade pangkat, bole g oversea slalu. Tp aku nk share semua tu dgn ayg. Aku bina impian n dunia aku dgn ayg jd tiang seri nye. Mmg nmpak mcm vulnerable dunia aku tu. tp aku mmg someone yg lebeh kan hati dr pikiran . N tu mmg akunye kelemahan.

So focal nye disini, aku rindu sgt dgn ayg. N to myself, pls be strong.


p/s: jd cikgu mmg bz, sian aku dgn ayg. Huhu..lg2 cikgu single n baru. Jg dr ye ayg.

things that i miss

Style of your hair
shape of your eyes and your nose
the way you stare
As if you see, right through to my soul

It's your left hand and the way
that it's not quite as big as your right
the way you stand in the mirror
before we go out at night

Our quiet time
your beautiful mind

They're a part of the list
Things that I miss
Things like your funny little laugh
the way you smile or the way we kiss

What I noticed is this
I come up with
something new, every single time
that I sit and reminisce

The way you sweet smell
lingers when you leave a room
Stories you tell as we lay
in bed all afternoon.


I dreamed you now every night
in my mind is where we meet
and when I'm awake
staring at pictures of you asleep.

Touching your face,
invading you space.

They're a part of the list
Things that I miss
Things like your funny little laugh
the way you smile or the way we kiss

What I noticed is this
I come up with
something new, every single time
that I sit and reminisce

And you'll live in my memories forever more I swear
And you'll live in my memories forever more I swear


neyo ---> part of the list


how i miss her...
lagu ni betul2 wat aku makin rindukan sentuhan dan kehadiran b dcc aku...
rindu yang sakit...

Lost cause

I never realize loving someone is so hard.
You said we were meant for each other.
Still I failed u.
I thought if I did my best and no matter what it takes,
I could still take good care of u.
If only I have a pair of wings, I would fly to u
But it’s just not something that I could do.
I wish I could keep on smiling,
But u just won’t let me be.
Please tell me, what should I do now?
Sorry for writing this down, it keeps bothering me.
Suppose I leave it up to u,
Just be true to your heart
I respect your every wish and demand.
But if it is up to me,
I’ll say, let’s keep on living our dream.

Syg ade interview mggu dpn, hope die tenang2 slalu. If aku ade, aku akn hntarkan, mcm dulu. Pg td, time aku bgun tdo, ayg col aku n ngadu laptop die problem. Ayg aku ni manje dgn aku. N aku suka je. Tp kdg2 ayg rase die slalu susahkan aku. Sbb slalu ngadu mcm2. Tp series aku xrase susah or rase ayg ni membebankan ke. Ayg kata die ni leceh, tp bg aku die family aku gak. Family sndri xkan anggap kt mnyusahkan sbb rasa syg tu ada dlm darah, dlm hati, dlm pikiran.

Aku suka if ayg aku pndai jg dr tp aku suka gak gurl yg manje n x terlalu independent. Hehe. tu la ayg aku. So ayg jgn isau k. Tp sebenarnye, dgn ayg ni je aku plg sabar, aku rasa la. Maybe sbb aku dah 24. Bole la control diri n sabar. Lg pun xtau nape aku syg sgt kat bdk sorg ni. Hati aku skt bile tgok or dgr die nangis. Harap aku bole jg die seumur hidup aku.

Oh why you look so sad
The tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don’t be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
Cause I’ve seen the dark side too

When the night falls on you
You don't know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less

I’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you
I’ll stand by you

So if you're mad get mad
Don’t hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide
I get angry too
Well I’m a lot like you

When you're standing at the crossroads
And don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
Cause even if you're wrong

I’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you
I’ll stand by you
Take me in into you darkest hour
And I’ll never desert you
I’ll stand by you

And when, when the night falls on you, baby
You feeling all alone
You won't be on your own

I’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you
I’ll stand by you
Take me in into you darkest hour
And I’ll never desert you
I’ll stand by you

Oh I’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you

performed by The Pretenders



Untuk ayg.. tenang2 slalu ye.

aku: b menyampah kat diri b sbb syg ayg sgt.

ayg: ayg pun meyampah kat b sbb b syg ayg sgt. =P

aku: hehehehe


n ntah brape kali perkataan 'syg' digunakn lg dlm dialog seterusnye. =)







p/s: rndunye kat ayg..ish...

The sea's evaporating
Though it comes as no surprise
These clouds we're seeing
They're explosions in the sky
It seems it's written
But we can't read between the line

Hush
It's okay
Dry your eye
Dry your eye
Soulmate dry your eye
Dry your eye
Soulmate dry your eye
Cause soulmates never die

"Sleeping With Ghosts" by Placebo


p/s: b miss u syg.. sgt2 rndu. dah 6 bulan xjumpe. jg dr baik2 tau.