Teringat awal2 kenal ayg dulu. Act, just kwn. Then terjatuh hati. Padahal aku nk ngelak suka kat gurl stret. Sbb pk gurl stret ni xrase ape yg aku rase so they all bole berubah jadi stret anytime. Tp tu la..bile hati dah take over pikiran, =).

Dulu awal2 kenal, punye la byk hal nk sembang. Lebeh seratus mesej sehari agaknye. Tdo 2-3 pg just utk bermesej. even just utk tanye mkn ape hari ni? Dah mandi ke blum? Mcm2 bdk2 btul..hehe. msej ayat bunga2, xkira lg poem pasal bulan bintang, kalah ayat penyair arab.

Act, aku xsure bile aku jatuh cinta kat ayg, tp aku tau yg aku btul2 syg die bile satu masa tu, aku g ke satu tempat n then aku rase xselesa sgt n nk blk cpt jumpe die.

Bile dah jauh ni, mmg kdg2 x tau nk sembang ape dlm phone. Tp still nk call sbb rindu. N kdg2 ayg mcm cepat melenting (bukan die marah aku ). Bile kt jauh dgn org yg kt syg, mmg akan jd mcm tu.dulu time aku mula2 bercinta pun mcm tu, tp bile dah ade pengalamn, aku dah bole control. Aku 1st love ayg, so aku paham ape yg die rase.

Teringat time aku dgn 1st love aku dulu. Aku bljar silat kat skola, then bile blk umah time cuti pnjg, n jauh dari ex aku tu, aku jd panas brn. Asik cari pasal dgn semua org. then abah aku sound, die kata tau la bljar silat, jgn la sket2, trus nak silat adik beradik aku tu.hehe, skrang aku dah lupe pun silat.ish3x..

Ayg, b bukan nk ungkit hal ex b tau. Point kat cni ialah, b pham ape yg ayg rase. So jgn isau k. nnt ayg akn overcome phase ni. Ayg b kan remaja lg. =P

Xtau nape td ayg mesej n tanye aku yakin x dgn die, n die tanye brape percent aku yakin (ish.. gurl mmg suka tanya soalan tricky mcm ni tau..) aku jwb la yg aku yakin n aku bg 99.99%. besela, aku kn bdk kimia, mana ade bnda xde impurities kan. Then aku tanye nape die tanye soalan tu? Even die bg jwpn, still aku xphm point die. Ish.. nak tanye lg, tp ayg tgh mengajar ni.so nnt la.

So b nk ayg tau yg b xpenah nyesal syg ayg, n b nk trus syg ayg slalu. N b nk ayg tau gak, it’s ok klau ayg xtau nk sembang ape bile b col or ym, bile kt byk diam dlm phone, sbb bile ayg ade dgn b, kt pun slalu diam n just pluk each other n rasa selesa. B tau ayg syg b n b kenal ayg b yg susah luahkn ape yg die rasa. Yg plg penting, b tau hati u still rasa hangat bila pk kan b sbb b pun mcm tu jg. Jd, jgn pk bukan2 ye syg.


p/s:

Believe me when I say
that I could see you when I shut my eyes,
Believe me when I say
that I could hear nothing,
Nothing but just the beat of my heart,


The way it rambles endlessly and out of rhythm..


My love,
I’m sweating and overwhelming,
Yet the feel of warm n tenderness,
They're holding me in.
Like the fond of your breath,
Gently touching my neck.

If this isn’t love, my darling,
If it’s just a madness, dear love one,
That‘s spreading like a fire under my skin,
Then let me live with it,
Though I felt suffocated,
Never once, I could live without it.

-urs-