Ok adik-adik. hari ni ade slot cerita ngeri. ni antara cerita ngeri yang penah aku baca. ngeri sebab ramai yang jadi macam watak dalam cerita klasik ni. termasuk aku mungkin.


So the Nightingale flew over to the Rose-tree that was growing beneath the Student's window.

"Give me a red rose," she cried, "and I will sing you my sweetest song."

But the Tree shook its head.

"My roses are red," it answered, "as red as the feet of the dove, and redder than the great fans of coral that wave and wave in the ocean-cavern. But the winter has chilled my veins, and the frost has nipped my buds, and the storm has broken my branches, and I shall have no roses at all this year."

"One red rose is all I want," cried the Nightingale, "only one red rose! Is there no way by which I can get it?"

"There is away," answered the Tree; "but it is so terrible that I dare not tell it to you."

"Tell it to me," said the Nightingale, "I am not afraid."

"If you want a red rose," said the Tree, "you must build it out of music by moonlight, and stain it with your own heart's-blood. You must sing to me with your breast against a thorn. All night long you must sing to me, and the thorn must pierce your heart, and your life-blood must flow into my veins, and become mine."

"Death is a great price to pay for a red rose," cried the Nightingale, "and Life is very dear to all. It is pleasant to sit in the green wood, and to watch the Sun in his chariot of gold, and the Moon in her chariot of pearl. Sweet is the scent of the hawthorn, and sweet are the bluebells that hide in the valley, and the heather that blows on the hill. Yet Love is better than Life, and what is the heart of a bird compared to the heart of a man?"


Petikan dari The Nightingale and the Rose by Oscar Wilde (1888)

Tapi yang ngeri sekali, if anyone of us ade ending macam dalam criter ni. cari la sendri kalau minat nak tau. if xnak tau pun xpe, mungkin 1 hari nant, kt akan rasa ending tu juga. Oh well..A**** !study..! study..!

Oh lord. She’s so cute. Man…, I’m telling u, she’s cute! So cute.. How can someone be so damn cute?

Yeah2 right there, just a little bit. Yeah..You’re good..
Oh no..oh please..no.. not again. Not yet. Not now.

Ouhh..Don’t look at me like that. Darn, those cute eyes.
No..no..please.. please don’t go..

Aaahhh!…damn phone!
Oh well….There goes my dream..

Okay, aku tak cukup tdo 2-3 hari ni. Busy dengan assignments and exam. Dpt tdo sejam dua pun dah heaven sangat.. Kopi dan red bull dari 2 malam lepas dan sampai pagi tadi wat aku tak boleh tido bila aku nak tdo time free macam skrang ni. Otak ligat sangat. Bila tido malam yang sekejap tu, mimpi bukan2 pulak. Lagi nak exam, lagi lucah fikiran ni. Aii..aii..

Ok, hari ni aku nak ganti cik khairun ajar biologi. Bukan pasal mimpi basah atau kitaran haid. Yang itu lain kali. Aku nak bagitau apa akan jadi klau kekurangan hormon serotonin. Aku rasa aku tgh kena serotonin deficiency syndrome.

1) People with a serotonin deficiency have disrupted sleep patterns and a lack of mental clarity.
2) Can cause minor memory loss, mental fogginess, and the inability to solve problems efficiently.
3) Lack of impulse control, which will often manifest itself as addictions to something.
4) Those with unhealthy levels of serotonin can experience a loss of interest in their regular activities; this goes beyond regular boredom.


Pattern tido aku sangat2 terganggu, fikiran tak clear, kadang2 bangun tdo aku lupa aku jauh dari Malaysia, fikiran berjerebu dengan pencemaran berbaur ecchi, addicted to “something” and selalu boring tahap dewataraya.


Dan…

Perut aku sakit lagi. Semalam macam dah ok.

“Perut o perut kenapa engkau sakit?
Macam mana aku tak sakit, nasi jarang masak, nasi jarang masak.
Nasi o nasi, kenapa jarang dimasak?
Macam mana nak masak, rice cooker rosak, rice cooker rosak.
Rice cooker o rice cooker, kenapa engkau rosak?
Macam mana aku tak rosak, perut kuat makan, perut kuat makan. “

Ooo..salah perut rupanya. Padan la muka perut. Aii..


Hmm..I need that. The three magic letters but four in bahasa. The only cure for MY serotonin deficiency ;)


p/s: Siapa bole teka ape magic letters tu? (Hint: ade kaitan dengan mimpi di atas). If betul aku bagi hadiah. Terms and conditions applied.

Aku xtulis blog 2 hari sbb bz dgn elaun (wang), graduate school (kuasa) dan daging (perempuan?).

Salam..

Aku dah dapat elaun pg smalam n kelmarin dah mula daylight saving. Jadi jarak masa aku n Malaysia dah jd 13 jam ke belakang. Sebelum ni 12 jam. Aku tgh x berhenti sendawa ni. Aii.. gastric plak. Baru xmkn daging seminggu lebeh, trus gastric. Tolong la ulu hati, jgn pedih lg. kan td dah mkn chicken tikka masala. Xcukup lg ke. Aku dah mkn ubat gastric yg rasa colgate tu tapi x lut gak. Ni aku mkn acid controller pill plak. Dah beli n mkn baru prasan direction, “swallow 1 pill 60 minutes before eating food..”. Maksudnye ubat ni amik masa 60 min bru nk jln ke? Ooouuhh..damn you..

Aku dah letak links blogs kat tepi tu, if ade yg aku termiss, bgtau la. Dulu ade links tu, tp bile tukar template, lmbat plak nk add semula. Nway, bnyak blogs yg aku dh bace. Wat aku terpk, mcm mane la rupa org di sebalik blog tu. kdg2 curious nk tau die ni mcm mane, wat ape, complicated nye pikiran makcik ni or cuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnye awek die. Cun kan slay awek dlm blog tu. X, aku x jeles. Tu rezeki die. Bak kata Mr. Singh, “lu punya nasib, lu mkn. Dia punye nasib, dia mkn. Ape salah klau mkn sama2”. Bole ke mkn sama2? ;)

If aku good looking, maybe aku letak gmbar kat blog ni. Mana tau dpt byk follower dr golongan aweks. Oh well.. aku agak gelap sbb mak aku suka mkn kopi time pregnant kan abg ngah aku. Mkn ok. Bukan minum. Ape kaitan? Ni teori aku , aku ank ketiga, jadi aku rase masa turn aku duk dlm tu, sisa kopi tu still ade dlm perut mak aku, tu yg wat aku jd gelap tu. 3 adik aku yg kt bwh cerah2 je. Mak ckp sbb ade org suruh mak bykkn minum susu soya time pregnant kan adik2 aku. Tu yg diorang puteh2 tu. Nape la mak xjumpe org tu awal sket.

Entry ni sj aku wat sbb kdg2 aku curious pasal bloggers n sbb ayg ( I still call her ayg). Aku tau ayg byk pendam n I’m trying my best to listen to each n every little thing she said. Bukan dgn kata2 je, tp dgn hela nafas die. Die xkan luah n aku just kena jd pendengar yg lebih baik. She’s part of me and I suppose it will stay that way for quite some time.


P/s:

The reality of the other person is not in what he reveals to you, but in what he cannot reveal to you. Therefore, if you would understand him, listen not to what he says but rather to what he does not say. – Kahlil Gibran

Ok, sabtu ptg Halloween. Ape aku wat? Hadap laptop n minum kopi. Org2 puteh sibuk dgn costume n party. Ye..aku cik introvert. Ermm.. x la “cik” sgt, tp xckup kromosom Y utk jd encik. Oh well..

Lg pun xreti aku nk pkai costume wonder woman n minum butt like* or butt wiser*. Ye bdk2 dtg ketuk umah nk candy. Aku xsuka bdk sgt n tbe2 aku rasa syg kat semua chocs aku yg dlm fridge. Ni tgh mkn choc ni.bulan lps punye. So aku wat bodo je bile diorang ketuk. Klau awek, xpe la gak. Plg kurang pun if ade system barter tukar choc n daging, sure aku bukak pntu.

Smbil2 tu baca karya Khalil@Kahlil Gibran. The sand and the foam. Nice. Bukan citer novel. Mcm poems, mcm quotes. So far poems n quotes die aku suka. Kena bace byk kali bru pham. Tp aku xtau btul ke ape yg aku phm tu. and byk gak yg aku xphm. Tp aku try gak nk phm. Korang phm ke ape aku tulis ni? Xphm aku.

Bg la aku ape2. Aku akn baca. Tp khatam x khatam, lain criter. Poems, comics, citer lucah, blog konspirasi, citer novel (if bes bru aku bace abes), citer hantu (aku suka siri berckp dgn j*in by tamar j*alis tu), label botol kicap kat atas meja pun aku baca. Yg penting tapis ape yg dibaca. Nak tapis, kena tau argue. Tu yg plg susah. Kena ade critical thinking. Ni pendapat aku je. Aku xpuas hati knape aku xle berfikir mcm org2 puteh kat cni. Mcm mane diorang bole pk soalan2 yg aku xterpk pun. N so far lecturers aku kat cni mmg kena pndai jwab soalan. Nway, plg simple la, anak kwn aku kat cni belajar kat skola omputeh. Umur 10 thun mcm tu. xlama pas skolah cni, die pndai tanye soalan mcm2 smpai pening parents die nk jawab. Ari tu aku dgr die tanye bapak die, ayah, nape dlm bhasa melayu universe dipanggil angkasa lepas? Ayah die pun bntai je jwb,” sbb kat angkasa tu,semua nye lepas .” Bdk tu x puas hati. Aku pun x tau. Aku diajar utk trime bukan menyoal. Ape yg cikgu bgtau, itu la die.

If aku trus tulis, pnjg nnt. Bosan plak. So bottom line, knape aku xdiajar utk argue sedangkan dlm Islam pun xbole taklid mcm tu je (jgn argue dgn aku hal agama, iman aku fluctuates). Penting xpenting soalan tu, hal lain. Yg penting ade budaya berfikir n bertanya. Oh ye. tp aku xnk awek debater :)


*Bud light & Budweiser (beer brands)

Salam.. aku kat lab aku nak merungut ni, jgn baca if u all pun byk masalah. Elaun..mana kau..tolong la masuk cpt. Malaysia dh sabtu, nk call marah2 pun xde sape nk angkat. Xkn nk tggu isnin. Masuk ni dah lebih 7 kali aku check akaun bank aku arini. USD 0.00 je. Skt dada aku kalah skt rindu tgok nombor tu. Janji 28 hb kat Malaysia. Ini dah 3 hari lewat. Dah la lmbat, xtau ke pose n raya ari tu aku byk abes duit beli dgg. Mahal tahu dgg halal. Aku dah semggu lebeh xmkn dgg ni sbb mahal. Dah nk kurang darah merah aku ni dah. Takkn aku nk makn smbal ikan bilis je arini? Aku ade telur 15 biji,perencah nasi goreng, megi tomyam, bihun, spageti, roti canai segera, epal, pisang , kopi n Arizona tea je aku ade skrang ni. Bgtau aku mcm mane aku nk puas mkn?? Aku nk dgg. Daging tau x??

Aku nk dgg aym, lembu n kmbing biri2. sape2 yg uruskan elaun tu, tau ke dgg lembu 1 paun nk dekat 5 dollar. 1 paun tu aku mkn sekali mask je. Ni dah berape lama aku xmkn gulai dgg. Terseksa jiwa aku. Santan, serai, cili padi, bwg semua ade. Tp aku xdpt beli dgg. X ke skt hati. Sekrang sjuk, aku perlu mkn sup tulang kmbing bg panas. perlu tahap wajib. Mana aku mampu nk beli. 1 paun nk dekat 6 dollar. Aku nk mkn ayam masak merah. 1 ekor dah 4 dollar lebeh. Tolong la, mcm mane aku nk kekalkn diet aku kat cni ni. habesla protein dlm bdn aku nnt if elaun xmasuk2 lg.

Geram ni…..


P/s: tolong la doakn aku dpt elaun cepat. Aku nk daging..daging…kasut baru..daging!

Hidup seperti biasa, masih mencintai dan merindui gadis itu. Walau semuanya dah berubah, selagi rasa ini wujud, aku raikan cnta yg ada seolah masa terhenti 3 bulan lepas. Aku tak dikhianati tak juga dilupakan. Cuma ada sebab yg lebih penting dari perasaan dan kemahuan. Lebih penting dari segala janji dan nikmat.

Dia masih ada dalam hati, fikiran, mata dan doa aku setiap hari. Aku masih ingat bau, pelukan dan ciuman dari dia yang pernah aku rasa. Aku masih ingat rasa bahgia yang hangat bila dia ada . Kadang- kadang aku masih boleh rasa bahu aku basah dengan air matanya. Manusia lebih menghargai bila dah kehilangan. Aku dah cuba untuk hargai semua tu sebaik-baiknya. Cuma dulu aku lupa yang “satu hari” itu akan tiba.

Layanan dah berbeza, mesej rindu dan cinta mungkin berbalas, mungkin tidak. Tapi sekurang-kurangnya aku tahu, niat hati aku sampai padanya. Itu lebih baik dari cuma berharap seseorang itu tahu apa yang kita rasa dengan menghantar mesej pada nombor yang tidak wujud dalam senarai panggilan.



Then Almitra spoke again and said, 'And what of Marriage, master?'

And he answered saying:

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.

You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days.

Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.

But let there be spaces in your togetherness,

And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another but make not a bond of love:

Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.

Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.

Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,

Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.

For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

And stand together, yet not too near together:

For the pillars of the temple stand apart,

And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

Marriage by Khalil Gibran